FYI: I have notified my husband and sons that if they write "Wife" or "Mother" on my tombstone I will briefly return from the dead and take them back with me.
The cemetery where I plan to be buried (my stone lacks only the final date) has many burials from the same families with the same name. It is helpful if they are labeled "Father" "Son" "Brother" and so forth. I do rather object to "Our precious" though.
I have no huge objection to putting "mother" on a stone (although as UL points out, she's also a daughter, wife, etc.). What chops me is when the stone says ONLY "Mother" -- not even the poor woman's name!!!
My name was on a gravestone, and had been for over 50 years, although I am patently Not Dead Yet.. My mother died when I was 7, and the gravestone said "Mother to Helen, Simon, and Sarah" after her name and dates (which were wrong, incidentally...) Recently I went to visit, and found the stone had gone, probably fallen down and removed as the assumtion would be that all the relatives had gone.. perhaps I'll live forever?
A whole book could be written about family dynamics and cemeteries. One little fellow's stone has 'monument by Mother' on it to make sure that viewers know her estranged husband had nothing to do with paying for it. There's a double monument where a man is buried with a space left for his wife. Her second husband's wife, who happened to be the first woman's sister, has a double stone for herself and the infant who died in an accident. It has 'wife of...' The surviving spouses married each other and are in a different cemetery, decades later. Another woman's nephew, in charge of funds his mother left for her sister's burial, decided to drop her last name, that of a late husband whom he disapproved and use that of her first husband and son. Will make relationships easier for later generations of genealogists, I'm sure.
Your final comment had me chortling and I thought Amen to that. I know this is a serious subject, but I'm very much in tune with what you are saying. I am gladly and fortunately and very lovingly wife, mother and grandmother, but I most definitely wouldn't want that alone scribed on whatever tombstone or memorial marks my final resting place.
The cemetery where I plan to be buried (my stone lacks only the final date) has many burials from the same families with the same name. It is helpful if they are labeled "Father" "Son" "Brother" and so forth.
ReplyDeleteI do rather object to "Our precious" though.
Mary Anne in Kentucky
since every male is a son, how do you know whose son it is?
DeleteBy the dates, with luck. With the same name, i.e., Samuel Smith, a younger Sam could be son, nephew, cousin, to the older one.
DeleteMary Anne in Kentucky
I used to say the same about, "She did the best she could," but as I get older, I wonder if that's not the highest praise!
ReplyDeleteWhy do you not want the relationships pointed out? As a family history researcher, I find it very helpful.
ReplyDeletewould take a huge stone to do justice to all relations, though - momma of and sister to and daughter of...
DeleteI have no huge objection to putting "mother" on a stone (although as UL points out, she's also a daughter, wife, etc.). What chops me is when the stone says ONLY "Mother" -- not even the poor woman's name!!!
DeleteMy name was on a gravestone, and had been for over 50 years, although I am patently Not Dead Yet.. My mother died when I was 7, and the gravestone said "Mother to Helen, Simon, and Sarah" after her name and dates (which were wrong, incidentally...)
ReplyDeleteRecently I went to visit, and found the stone had gone, probably fallen down and removed as the assumtion would be that all the relatives had gone.. perhaps I'll live forever?
A whole book could be written about family dynamics and cemeteries. One little fellow's stone has 'monument by Mother' on it to make sure that viewers know her estranged husband had nothing to do with paying for it. There's a double monument where a man is buried with a space left for his wife. Her second husband's wife, who happened to be the first woman's sister, has a double stone for herself and the infant who died in an accident. It has 'wife of...' The surviving spouses married each other and are in a different cemetery, decades later. Another woman's nephew, in charge of funds his mother left for her sister's burial, decided to drop her last name, that of a late husband whom he disapproved and use that of her first husband and son. Will make relationships easier for later generations of genealogists, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteYour final comment had me chortling and I thought Amen to that.
ReplyDeleteI know this is a serious subject, but I'm very much in tune with what you are saying. I am gladly and fortunately and very lovingly wife, mother and grandmother, but I most definitely wouldn't want that alone scribed on whatever tombstone or memorial marks my final resting place.