Surprise of the week

I went to the eye doctor on Monday, because I'm having trouble seeing the little numbers in the crossword puzzle boxes and low-contrast text on the computer (everybody who thinks small gray letters on white is a nifty style for your website or blog, YOU'RE WRONG!!). 

I thought maybe he would change my glasses prescription, or maybe even have a conversation about cataracts.  Yes, he talked about cataracts: the one in my left eye had gotten much worse in the six months since the last exam.  Probably could be taken out any time now. 

Fine, I said, what happens next?  You have to see the surgeon for a reality check.  Fine, I said, when can that happen?  He's working this afternoon, maybe he can see you right now!

And he could.  He sent me for more tests, laser mapping of the topography of my eye and that sort of thing.  He looked at the results, peered into my eye again, called in the first doctor for a second opinion.  The verdict: "I can fix your eye so you can see good, or I can fix your eye so you can see real good."

I ignored the grammar and said if it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon see real good.

Seems I had an area of blobby, bulgy, wrinkly stuff smack dab in the middle of my cornea, which he could "smooth down" in advance of the cataract operation.  Fine, I said, when can that happen?  If you have somebody to drive you home, I can do it right now!

So I called my husband, and by the time he arranged for somebody to pick him up and bring him to the doctor's office, I was all "smoothed" and ready to go home.  I guess the surgeon used a little dremel tool with a sanding disk and just ground away till the bumps and bulges were gone.  Slapped a "bandage contact lens" over the eyeball to keep the nerve ends wet and protected, and sent me away.  Two days of discomfort and blurry vision, which I have been medicating mainly with red wine, and now I feel almost as good as new.

This is the way to have surgery: no waiting, no apprehension, no second thoughts.  I don't notice any improvement in vision, but I expect a huge boost in six to eight weeks when the cataract comes out.